Very Very Little Rivka

In Episode 10, I mention that Rivka, the woman given to Yitzchak, was only 3 years old when Avraham’s anonymous slave found her (at least according to some traditions). Before the episode, I read a few excerpts from “Kind Little Rivka,” a cheerful children’s book that treats this union as though it’s a totally normal, OK thing.  If you want to read this twisted book, order it here!

I first heard about “Kind Little Rivka” in a very thoughtful blog post by Eli Federman in the  Jewish Daily Forward, in which he puts the story in perspective, quoting modern statistics about child brides:

I never expected a kids book to glorify underage marriage. Children are enslaved in marriages, abused, tortured and killed. According to the organization Girls Not Brides, every year an estimated “14 million girls are married before they turn 18. Robbed of their childhood, denied their rights to health, education and security.”

In the book, Rivka helps a blind woman, gives up her seat, and waters thirsty animals.

These are all benign acts of kindness — but they culminate in a 3-year-old girl’s marriage to a man 10 times her age. I don’t want my little daughter thinking that underage marriage, in any context, is ever acceptable. Period.

You should read the rest of the article. It’s a very interesting take from an observant Jew on what happens when people transmit the unseemlier parts of the Bible to their children.

 

OMGWTFBIBLE at the Magnet

Episode 11Episode 10 is in the can! Last night was a hell of a lot of fun. As always, the folks behind the scenes at the Double Wide were nice as can be, incredibly helpful, and just generally great to work with. John and I are working diligently to clean it up and get it ready for your downloading and listening pleasure by August 5.

Last night, though, I shared some very exciting news with the audience. In August, OMGWTFBIBLE will have the honor of being part of the Test Drive series at the Magnet Theater–one of the top improv comedy theaters in New York. The Magnet uses Test Drive to find shows to add to their regular schedule. So if the next episode goes well, OMGWTFBIBLE could find a new home at the Magnet Theater. This would mean a wider audience, a space designed specifically for comedy, and, more importantly, a better show. If OMGWTFBIBLE becomes a Magnet show, I’ll be working with the artistic director there to give you a show that’s even funnier, tighter, and more insightful than it already is. Continue reading

For Fuck’s Sake

For some reason, when I first started telling people about this show, I was surprised when they took offense at its name.

“Isn’t that a little disrespectful?” they usually ask, referring to my use of an f-bomb in such close proximity to “Bible.” “Don’t you think you’ll offend people with that?”

If I’m feeling flippant, I’ll tell them that if they’re offended by the name, OMGWTFBIBLE is not for them. The “fuck” in the title is a built-in mechanism for weeding out those who might not be so into this show.

Usually, that’s enough for people, and I’ll go find someone else on the subway car to give a sticker. And, while that reason is true, there’s a deeper thought behind this show’s name that deserves longer elucidation here. Continue reading

Episode 10 Live!

Episode 10 FlyerYes, Episode 10 IS happening this month! It won’t be posted online until August (there will be two podcast episodes in August!) but Episode 10 will be record live on Monday! And I can’t wait! I have something very special planned for before the show and a super-exciting announcement about the future of OMGWTFBIBLE that I can’t wait to share with you all.

This month, guest Ariel Abrahams will start at chapter 13 and we will keep reading until we stop. A lot has happened in the first 12 chapters so I’ll recap a bit before we begin reading. Or you can catch up here.

OMGWTFBIBLE Episode 10 Live
Double Wide Bar and Southern Kitchen
505 E. 12th Street
July 29, 7 PM
FREE! 21+!

Nevermind

Hey, remember when the Rabbinical Council of California was going to certify lube as kosher? Just kidding!

In a statement on their homepage (screenshot below), the RCC has announced that since “the intended uses of these items as now revealed, was misunderstood,” they will not be certifying Wet lube after all!

lube ain't kosher

RCC’s very slippery lube statement

Um, did they not know lube was for sex?

Important Sexy Kosher News

Anal lube

Wet’s very cleverly-named anal lube

Good news, everyone! After a 2-year process, the Rabbinical Council of California has given kosher certification to a whole slew of personal lubricants from a company called Wet. Because up to this point, observant Jews have been relying on regular old naturally-occuring sex juices and saliva?

Coming on the heels of the recent rabbinical OK of medicinal marijuana, I predict a renaissance in never-ending Orthodox Jewish stoned sex. And just in time for Tu B’av!

Smoke Your Marijuanikah

Screen shot 2013-07-12 at 10.18.11 AMYou can all rest easy. Finally, finally, an Orthodox Rabbi has declare that marijuana is kosher. Of course, he feels it should only be used to relieve pain, and using it to “escape this world in any excessive way is certainly forbidden.” Well, duh. Nobody should escape the world excessively. Always in moderation.

And, according to Rabbi Efraim Zalmanovich, who made this decree, if you provide cannabis to someone who’s using it to relieve “the pain of being a man” (to quote the late Dr. Johnson), well then that’s a mitzvah. Presumably, if one tunes into Episode 9 right before, that’s a double-mitzvah.

No word yet on whether it’s acceptable to toke up on Tisha B’av.

<h/t: Heeb>

 

Very Pretty Misogyny

Don't Talk to Women

Don’t Talk to Women

Jacqueline Nicholls’ beautiful paper-cut doilies, called The Ladies Guild Collection, take some of the more obviously misogynist passages of Jewish literature (like the one above) and turn them into works of art. The level of detail in the borders of these pieces is incredible. The entire collection is certainly worth exploring.

Oh, and she’s drawing the entire Talmud one page at a time. Seriously, Jacquline Nicholls is a cool lady. Read her interview on Jewcy.

See Episode 10 Live!

OMGWTFBIBLE LogoEpisode 10 Live!

OMGWTFBIBLE’s second show at Double Wide!

I’m happy to announce that Episode 10 will be happening on July 29 (a little late this month due to the fast day and all) at Double Wide!

This month, I’ll be joined by Ariel Abrahams, a brilliant artist, who’s been exploring alternative approaches to Judaism on his own.

We’ll start with Chapter 13, and I guarantee you one thing: THERE WILL BE STEW.

Details and links below:

OMGWTFBIBLE Episode 10

Double Wide Bar

505 E. 12th Street

7:00 PM

Event page here

Rabbi David Wolpe, Being Awesome

Because Conservative Judaism know which millennium it is, Rabbi David Wolpe, of the prestigious 107-year-old Sinai Temple in California, announced this week he’ll allow same-sex marriages to be performed at his temple now that it’s finally legal again out there.

Not everyone at Sinai Temple is embracing this move. A congregant named M. Michael Naim took issue with the fact that, you know, man-on-man action is forbidden in the Torah:

“Homosexuality is explicitly condemned in Scripture and has been categorically and passionately rejected by all classical Jewish legal and ethical thinkers as a cardinal vice in the same category as incest, murder and idolatry.”

Yikes.

The Times article goes on for a bit about the culture clash between slightly-more homophobic Persian Jews and the other congregants at Sinai Temple. But here’s the money quote from Rabbi Wolpe’s original statement:

“Our clergy believe that this decision is in the best tradition of the Conservative movement which views the Torah as a living document that allows room for new understandings and approaches. As we have modernized the role of women and many other practices, the demand on the part of our brothers and sisters who are gay to be able to live in a sanctified relationship is a call to our conscience and our responsibility as Jews.”

Word.