The End of the Beginning

Wow.

OMGWTFBIBLE is a project I started a little over a year ago. On a bit of an insane whim, I decided to write my own translation of the Hebrew Bible. The podcast I do each month, where a friend reads a chapter or so of my translation while I provide commentary, is a fun way to showcase the work I’m doing, but the core of the project is just to create this thing: a complete, relatively accurate, and interesting translation of the entire Old Testament. In what little free time I have.

Very often, this has seemed like an impossible task. The book is just so massive, not to mention rife with words with ambiguous or unknown meanings, that in the back of my mind, there’s always been a little nagging voicing saying, “do you really think you can pull this off?”

Maybe I can. I’m happy to announce that, as of this weekend, I’ve finished my initial translation of Genesis. Or, as I’m calling it, “In the Beginning.” I still have to revise it and edit it and make sure the jokes are actually funny, but the words are all there. It’s done. I’ve translated the first book of the Bible.

Therefore: thank you everyone who’s been coming to shows or supporting this thing online or given me reviews on iTunes or helped with promotion or been a guest on the show or have simply let me know how much they’ve enjoyed it. So much of the reason I’ve kept pushing forward to finish the first book is because of the feedback I’ve got. Thank you for reminding me that, even when I’m searching through concordances for hours to figure out what obscure ancient words mean, this is a thing worth making.

OMGWTFBIBLE Chapter 8

OMGWTFBible - squareBehold! Chapter 8 of OMGWTFBIBLE with Julie Sugar is now available!!

In which a plotline is recycled and Avraham gives us a primer in how to be a bad dad

I assure you, Julie is not this blurry in real life.

I assure you, Julie is not this blurry in real life.

There are so many ways to listen!

Direct link is here.

You can also: subscribe in iTunes, subscribe via RSS, or listen via Stitcher!

It Happened!

Chapter 8 was recorded last night! There are no pictures or anything that I can show you, but the show definitely happened, it went wonderfully, the audience was exuberant, Julie Sugar was hilarious, and lots of flyers and stickers and posters were given away.

Now, I will work hard to edit it so that it can be released on Monday, May 27. Stay tuned!

Live Show Tomorrow!

abeTomorrow, Julie Sugar will be joining me at the Parkside Lounge to read Chapter 8 of this wackiness. Some highlights: Avrahamic deceit and PLENTY of child abuse!

Here is the facebook event page: https://www.facebook.com/events/544827828889571/

Be there if you can! I’ll be handing out all sorts of free OMGWTFBIBLE paraphernalia to everyone who shows up. Brochures! Stickers! Show posters!

This month is so special there are two posters for it! HOLY CRAP!

OMGWTFBible - Chapter 8 poster

OMGWTFBIBLE Chapter 7

Behold! Chapter 7 of OMGWTFBIBLE with Lonnie Mann is now available!!

In which all sorts of sexy things (and one very unsexy one) happen

There are so many ways to listen!

Direct link is here.

You can also: subscribe in iTunes, subscribe via RSS, or listen via Stitcher!

Responding to Boston

Last night, before the show, I felt compelled to address the terrorist attacks in Boston that day. To start the show without talking about that tragedy felt wrong. Since I was recording, I’ve released my remarks as a special podcast episode.

It’s available in Stitcher, iTunes, RSS, and direct download.

My statements, as prepared (I deviated a bit in the recording), appear below:

There’s something I need to address. As you hear this, this happened more than a week ago, but just a few hours ago, there were two explosions at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. We don’t really know anything right now. Two people are dead and there are reports of over a hundred wounded.

This is awful and has made me sick to my stomach. My heart goes out to everyone affected by these apparently deliberate attacks. I have family in Boston and I got in touch with them and they’re ok—but there are a lot of people who aren’t.

These was a moment this afternoon when I considered cancelling tonight’s show. Something about my taking such a cavalier attitude to a text so many people consider sacred in the wake of such a tragedy seemed a bit insensitive.

But then I realized that’s exactly why I should perform tonight.

This book is at the center of millions of peoples’ ideologies.  For a lot of the world, morality is driven by the book I’m going to make fun of tonight. And sometimes, some people (a very small minority, but some) stand so firm in their ideologies, whether they come from this book or not, that they reject all other points of view. And they kill.

You’ll see seemingly righteous killing in this month’s chapter. And a lot of people base certain moral judgements on what we’re about to read. Part of the reason this show must go on is to point out the ambiguity that exists even within this ideology—that those who stake a claim to absolute truth and morality might just be mistaken. And if they are, they probably shouldn’t condemn anyone. Or kill them.

The other reason, and this is more of a traditional reading than I usually do in this show, is because of the conversation Avraham has with God. As you’ll see, Avraham convinces Yehovah to spare the cities of S’dom and G’mora if He can find 10 innocent men within.

Presumably God, if you believe in Him, knows what lies in the hearts of men. He is the only entity that can know whether a soul is truly innocent. And he relents for the sake of 10 innocents. How can anyone, especially one who professes a belief in an Almighty, possibly claim to know what lies in the hearts of others and condemn countless times more than 10 innocents to death—when even God wouldn’t do such a thing?

OMGWTFMORMON!

Announcement time! Perhaps you’ve noticed how quiet this blog has been lately. Really, though! I have a reason for it. Lately, I’ve been working on a brand-new project!

For a while, I thought OMGWTFBIBLE would stay focused on the Old Testament. Obviously, that book will still take a lot of work–but I thought in the meantime, I’d get started on my next translation. OMGWTFMORMON! Look below the fold for more. Seriously!

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