Announcement time! Perhaps you’ve noticed how quiet this blog has been lately. Really, though! I have a reason for it. Lately, I’ve been working on a brand-new project!

For a while, I thought OMGWTFBIBLE would stay focused on the Old Testament. Obviously, that book will still take a lot of work–but I thought in the meantime, I’d get started on my next translation. OMGWTFMORMON! Look below the fold for more. Seriously!

It’s time to for a new translation of the Book of Mormon! Now, I know what you’re thinking. The Book of Mormon is already in English. Well, that may be. But it isn’t in sarcastic English. Check out this passage from Jacob 1:8 in the original text:

Wherefore, we would to God that we could persuade all men not to rebel against God, to provoke him to anger, but that all men would believe in Christ, and view his death, and suffer his cross and bear the shame of the world; wherefore, I, Jacob, take it upon me to fulfil the commandment of my brother Nephi.

Pretty bland, right? But check out what happens when I translate it sarcastically:

Wherefore, we would to God that we could persuade all men not to rebel against God, to provoke him to anger, but that all men would believe in Christ, and view his death, and suffer his cross and bear the shame of the “world;” wherefore, I, “Jacob,” take it upon me to “fulfil the commandment” of my “brother” “Nephi.”

See? Hilarious! I’m sure you can’t wait for me to plow through the entire book. I can’t yet promise when the first episode is coming out, but hopefully I’ll finish it before the month is over. I can’t believe it’s April 1 already!