Tom Delays Hates Creativity

Hey, you! You know, that novel you’ve been working on for years? That beautiful work of art you threw your blood, sweat, and tears into? That business you built with your BARE HANDS? Continue reading

When Was the World Created?

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Time is hard. It’s really easy to say something like “Earth is 4.5 billion years old” or “language has been around for more than 50,000 years” but comprehending what that means take a serious cognitive leap. wait but why posted these lovely timelines that fill one with an unrelenting sense of awe at how minuscule our lives really are.

This timeline is pretty relevant for OMGWTFBIBLE. See that little pink bit on the right that’s labeled “recorded history?” Supposedly, the Bible began and was written around the beginning of that period (though historians will tell you it was compiled and canonized much later). But as you can see, there’s a whole lot more to time than that. And a lot of stuff going on before the world was created. Language! Civilization! Walking!

My Bible Won’t Have Obama in It

I know, I know. I still have to watch this somehow unstreamable show and live-tweet it. THIS WILL HAPPEN.

(Courtesy CBS)

Anyway, some folks are freaking out because in the most recent episode of The History Channel’s The Bible, the character of Satan sorta kinda looked a lot like President Barack Obama. Whoops! I guarantee, my Bible will not feature any presidents, past or present.

Oh Yes, I Will Be Live-Tweeting This

I must apologize. This, which looks like a total mess, aired last night and I said nothing about it. I have failed somewhat in my duty to you as a funny Bible man.

Instead, I watched “Bob’s Burgers.” Because Jon Hamm was guest-voicing as a talking toilet. How could I not.

Anyway, at some point, I will do a time-shifted live-tweet this thing. Watch this space for date and time!