Episode 23.2 is here!

Every time I think about this I confuse myself. In Hebrew, the book of Exodus is called “Shmot”. That translates to “Names” in English. The first portion of Shmot is also called Shmot. So, for my purposes, episode 23 covers Names, the first portion of the book Names. Got it? Good!

Anyway, this is the second installment of episode 23. This time around, me and Mordechai really get into the story, mocking Paraoh’s deviousness and Rashi’s imaginary French accent.

This episode was recorded at Beauty Bar in New York City.

There are so many ways to listen to Episode 23.2!

You can listen using the SoundCloud thingie above or by downloading here. Explore our SoundCloud and listen to past episodes here.

You can also: subscribe in iTunes, subscribe via RSS, or listen via Stitcher!

OMGWTFBIBLE Goes Weekly!

Exodus begins! And I call it “Names!”

But wait? What’s that? 23.1? Why the decimal? For now on, I’ll be recording an entire Torah portion, or “parsha”, as the Jews call it, each month at one big live show. Then, the very long show will be released as four-part episodes over the course of the month, making this a weekly show!

This episode was recorded at Beauty Bar in New York City.

There are so many ways to listen to Episode 23.1!

You can listen using the SoundCloud thingie above or by downloading here. Explore our SoundCloud and listen to past episodes here.

You can also: subscribe in iTunes, subscribe via RSS, or listen via Stitcher!

Tofu Turns You Gay, According to Yeshiva

This Rabbi definitely doesn’t eat Tofu. No sirree.

Taking a page from the Ron Swanson Book of Culinary Arts, Gur hasids in Brooklyn have banned soy products from their yeshiva over fears it might make younger students too hot and sexy and lady-like, turning on older students and Rabbis. Seriously. According to FailedMessiah.com:

Gur has now banned soy products like veggie hot dogs from its yeshivas due rabbis’ fears that the hormones in soy foods will cause the bodies of young teen students to become feminine in appearance and thereby cause their rabbis and older students to become sexually aroused seeing them.

Eating extremely large amounts of soy products on a daily basis over a very prolonged period of time can in some cases cause men to begin to develop breasts. But the amount of soy needed to be consumed for that to happen is well beyond the amount an average person would ever consume, and even then the reaction is rare.

Science!

UPDATE: This is BS, probably!

Rabbi David Wolpe, Being Awesome

Because Conservative Judaism know which millennium it is, Rabbi David Wolpe, of the prestigious 107-year-old Sinai Temple in California, announced this week he’ll allow same-sex marriages to be performed at his temple now that it’s finally legal again out there.

Not everyone at Sinai Temple is embracing this move. A congregant named M. Michael Naim took issue with the fact that, you know, man-on-man action is forbidden in the Torah:

“Homosexuality is explicitly condemned in Scripture and has been categorically and passionately rejected by all classical Jewish legal and ethical thinkers as a cardinal vice in the same category as incest, murder and idolatry.”

Yikes.

The Times article goes on for a bit about the culture clash between slightly-more homophobic Persian Jews and the other congregants at Sinai Temple. But here’s the money quote from Rabbi Wolpe’s original statement:

“Our clergy believe that this decision is in the best tradition of the Conservative movement which views the Torah as a living document that allows room for new understandings and approaches. As we have modernized the role of women and many other practices, the demand on the part of our brothers and sisters who are gay to be able to live in a sanctified relationship is a call to our conscience and our responsibility as Jews.”

Word.

Pray the Ex-Gay Away

Maybe there is a God after all!

Exodus International, a leading “ex-gay” organization (you know, those lovely groups that think if gay guys pray hard enough, they won’t like dudes anymore), is shutting its doors.

And this except from an apology from Alan Chambers, Exodus’ president, is just–wow. Read it for yourself:

Please know that I am deeply sorry. I am sorry for the pain and hurt many of you have experienced. I am sorry that some of you spent years working through the shame and guilt you felt when your attractions didn’t change. I am sorry we promoted sexual orientation change efforts and reparative theories about sexual orientation that stigmatized parents. I am sorry that there were times I didn’t stand up to people publicly “on my side” who called you names like sodomite—or worse. I am sorry that I, knowing some of you so well, failed to share publicly that the gay and lesbian people I know were every bit as capable of being amazing parents as the straight people that I know. I am sorry that when I celebrated a person coming to Christ and surrendering their sexuality to Him that I callously celebrated the end of relationships that broke your heart. I am sorry that I have communicated that you and your families are less than me and mine.

OMGWTFBIBLE Chapter 7

Behold! Chapter 7 of OMGWTFBIBLE with Lonnie Mann is now available!!

In which all sorts of sexy things (and one very unsexy one) happen

There are so many ways to listen!

Direct link is here.

You can also: subscribe in iTunes, subscribe via RSS, or listen via Stitcher!