Please Don’t Watch Princesses: Long Island

Oh god. Oh god. What is this mess? Please don’t watch this ever.

Please do read Stephanie Butnick’s thoughtful review on Jewcy.

And definitely watch Sarah Silverman’s father get mad about the word “JAP.”

“The Fat Jew” Helps Slim Down the Homeless

There is a guy who calls himself “The Fat Jew.” Apparently, he has been using New York’s ubiquitous CitiBike racks (which I love, by the way) to offer free cardio classes to homeless folks. Ok! Here is a video:

Is this insulting? I don’t know, maybe a little.

<h/t: Jewcy>

Rethinking Chapter Breaks in OMGWTFBIBLE

As you’ve probably realized by now, the chapter divisions in OMGWTFBIBLE do not match the divisions in any other bible. That’s because I made mine up! Up to this point, I’ve been preparing what seems like a decent chunk of text for each monthly episode and calling it a “chapter.” Episodes 1 through 8 of this podcast are also chapters 1 through 8 of OMGWTFBIBLE. Considering the chapter divisions in every other version are totally arbitrary and only about 1000 years old, I don’t see any problem with this. Some of the original chapter breaks are pretty jarring!

BUT. Continue reading

See Episode 9 Live!

chapter9

Episode 9 Live!

New venue! New time! New David!

Episode 9 is almost here and it’s happening on my birthday! Come be a part of OMGWTFBIBLE’s live audience as we record our next episode!

Episode 9

Double Wide Bar

505 E. 12th Street

6:30 PM

 

And afterward, help me celebrate my 28th birthday! RSVP here!

The End of the Beginning

Wow.

OMGWTFBIBLE is a project I started a little over a year ago. On a bit of an insane whim, I decided to write my own translation of the Hebrew Bible. The podcast I do each month, where a friend reads a chapter or so of my translation while I provide commentary, is a fun way to showcase the work I’m doing, but the core of the project is just to create this thing: a complete, relatively accurate, and interesting translation of the entire Old Testament. In what little free time I have.

Very often, this has seemed like an impossible task. The book is just so massive, not to mention rife with words with ambiguous or unknown meanings, that in the back of my mind, there’s always been a little nagging voicing saying, “do you really think you can pull this off?”

Maybe I can. I’m happy to announce that, as of this weekend, I’ve finished my initial translation of Genesis. Or, as I’m calling it, “In the Beginning.” I still have to revise it and edit it and make sure the jokes are actually funny, but the words are all there. It’s done. I’ve translated the first book of the Bible.

Therefore: thank you everyone who’s been coming to shows or supporting this thing online or given me reviews on iTunes or helped with promotion or been a guest on the show or have simply let me know how much they’ve enjoyed it. So much of the reason I’ve kept pushing forward to finish the first book is because of the feedback I’ve got. Thank you for reminding me that, even when I’m searching through concordances for hours to figure out what obscure ancient words mean, this is a thing worth making.

Breaking: Jews Like Booze

Did you know that Jews like whiskey? It is true! Jews like whiskey! A lot of my early Jewish memories are closely tied to whiskey. Every holiday and wedding and Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah featured whiskey. And not just any whiskey, but good whiskey. Single-malt Scotch Whiskey.

And Purim? Forget about it.

Anyway, I guess this was a secret? Something people didn’t know? Well, New York Times found out and wrote an article about the decades-old trend, covering a new WhiskyFest-related event called “Whisky Jewbilee:”

The bond with whiskey goes way back. Mr. Blashka said early Jewish immigrants to America, unable to trust the provenance of local wines, turned to certain distilled liquors, including whiskey. “Because the wine was an issue, typically spirits was their avenue for drinking,” he said.

It’s a good thing whiskey wasn’t mentioned in the Torah!

As recent decades have ushered in a revival in Scotch, bourbon and other whiskeys, Jews, like many other groups, have moved beyond the usual blends and have developed more sophisticated tastes. “Now we have many whiskeys that we know are kosher,” said Rabbi Aaron Raskin of Congregation B’nai Avraham in Brooklyn Heights, whose preferred whiskey is the smoky Laphroaig, a single malt from Islay. “It is used to add to our joy.”

But really, Rabbi Raskin, what’s the real reason you’re so excited about all this whiskey?

“And it helps attendance at synagogues,” he added.

I can only imagine that this news will only increase the mourning on Tisha B’av.

<h/t: Heeb>