Everyone Goes Nuts in Episode 32.2

Not gonna lie: not much happens in this episode’s reading. However, Luzer Twersky and David Tuchman have a bit of a breakdown trying to get through it. And you’ve probably never had as many disgusting thoughts about candelabras as these two do. Listen to episode 32.2 now, because it is a wonderful, wonderful mess!

Listen now. There’s no other reasonable thing to do.

There are so many ways to listen to Episode 32.2!

You can listen using the SoundCloud thingie above or by downloading here. Explore our SoundCloud and listen to past episodes here.

You can also: subscribe in iTunes, subscribe via RSS, or listen via Stitcher!

Luzer Twersky in Episode 32.1

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We hit chapter 100 in Book 2 and things start to fall apart. As the narrative drags, David Tuchman and guest Luzer Twersky (star of the new film “Felix and Meira”! Check it out!) start to lose their grips on reality. Do you want to see how crazy the Bible can drive two men? Want to know how ex-Hasid Luzer Twersky ended up playing a Hasidic man in an indepedent movie garnering loads of critical attention?

Listen now!

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There are so many ways to listen to Episode 32.1!

You can listen using the SoundCloud thingie above or by downloading here. Explore our SoundCloud and listen to past episodes here.

You can also: subscribe in iTunes, subscribe via RSS, or listen via Stitcher!

See God’s Butt in Episode 31.2

We’ve finally reached one of the most important parts of the Bible: the part where God shows Moses his butt and God’s butt breaks Moses’s face. For real. Sure, sure, there’s other stuff about forgiveness and laws and two possible versions of the Ten Commandments, but who cares about that when Shulem Deen, author of “All Who God Not Return,” is reading about the glory of God’s butt?

That’s right, no one.

Listen now. There’s no other reasonable thing to do.

There are so many ways to listen to Episode 31.2!

You can listen using the SoundCloud thingie above or by downloading here. Explore our SoundCloud and listen to past episodes here.

You can also: subscribe in iTunes, subscribe via RSS, or listen via Stitcher!

Get Stoned With Shulem Deen in Episode 31.1

Have you ever read the Bible? OK, but have you ever read the Bible on weed? In episode 31.1, Shulem Deen stops by OMGWTFBIBLE to talk about “All Who Go Do Not Return,” his new memoir, and also to talk about a controversial translation of the Bible that seems to include cannabis as part of the priestly anointing oil. Who knew?

Also in this episode: the whole Golden Calf thing happens and there’s very probably an orgy. Join the fun and listen now!

There are so many ways to listen to Episode 31.1!

You can listen using the SoundCloud thingie above or by downloading here. Explore our SoundCloud and listen to past episodes here.

You can also: subscribe in iTunes, subscribe via RSS, or listen via Stitcher!

Episode 30.2 is Out Now!

Are you ready to be grossed out? At this point, Episode 30.2 of OMGWTFBIBLE, the narrative of the Bible completely breaks down and it just turns into graphic depictions of bloody, bloody sacrifices. Why is this holy or important? I don’t know, but it sure is fun to listen to.

Check out Catie Lazarus, host of “Employee of the Month,” as she reads David Tuchman’s bible translation now! You might learn something about animal sacrifices or at least about Alan Dershowitz.

There are so many ways to listen to Episode 30.2!

You can listen using the SoundCloud thingie above or by downloading here. Explore our SoundCloud and listen to past episodes here.

You can also: subscribe in iTunes, subscribe via RSS, or listen via Stitcher!

Episode 30.1 is Out Now!

Sure God created the world, drowned almost everyone in a massive flood, killed a bunch of Egyptians, and has sorts of laws he wants people to care about, but did you know he also designs clothing? It’s true! And that’s what guest Catie Lazarus spends the majority of Episode 30.1 of OMGWTFBIBLE reading!

The hilarious host of “Employee of the Month,” Catie joins OMGWTFBIBLE host David Tuchman to read about some divine fashion choices that have been out of style for a little while. What does she think of holy vests? Can she pull off a Godly breastplate? Find out now!

There are so many ways to listen to Episode 30.1!

You can listen using the SoundCloud thingie above or by downloading here. Explore our SoundCloud and listen to past episodes here.

You can also: subscribe in iTunes, subscribe via RSS, or listen via Stitcher!

Episode 29.2 is Out Now!

When we last left our heroes, David Tuchman and Mark Leuchter were in Raven Lounge in Philadelphia, reading about all the stuff God wanted in his desert tent. That’s right, they were halfway through “Terumah,” the seventh portion of Exodus, and growing weary of all of God’s very specific and confusing instructions.

Can they make it through? Can they finish episode 29.2, complete God’s directions, and find something remotely meaningful to talk about in all this? Find out on the next episode of OMGWTFBIBLE, available right here, right now!

There are so many ways to listen to Episode 29.2!

You can listen using the SoundCloud thingie above or by downloading here. Explore our SoundCloud and listen to past episodes here.

You can also: subscribe in iTunes, subscribe via RSS, or listen via Stitcher!

Episode 29.1 is Out Now!

OMGWTFBIBLE with David Tuchman has hit Philadelphia! On February 25th, David was joined by Temple professor Mark Leuchter at Raven Lounge in Philly to read “Terumah,” the seventh portion in Exodus next to a stripper pole. Among other things, they discussed Professor Leuchter’s love of guitars, his approach to the Bible, and why in the world God spent so much time on building directions.

That’s right, building directions. In episode 29.1, with all those pesky laws out of the way, God spends a great deal of time describing some stuff he wants made. Is it interesting? Are there any questions that can be asked about this? Why is it in the Bible in the first place? Listen and find out. Maybe.

There are so many ways to listen to Episode 29.1!

You can listen using the SoundCloud thingie above or by downloading here. Explore our SoundCloud and listen to past episodes here.

You can also: subscribe in iTunes, subscribe via RSS, or listen via Stitcher!

Episode 28.2 is Out Now!

Have you ever wondered about the appropriate liquids in which to boil kid goats? Thirsty to know when the best time to go to the bathroom is? Do not fear! The Bible, as rewritten by David Tuchman, is here to answer your obscurest questions!

In episode 28.2 of OMGWTFBIBLE, David is joined by Sha James to read the second half of “Mishpatim,” the sixth portion in Exodus. And, oh my, is it a doozy. Episode 28.2 is pretty hard to put into words, especially because it’s really all over the place, so you may as well just start listening right now.

There are so many ways to listen to Episode 28.2!

You can listen using the SoundCloud thingie above or by downloading here. Explore our SoundCloud and listen to past episodes here.

You can also: subscribe in iTunes, subscribe via RSS, or listen via Stitcher!

Responding to Boston

Last night, before the show, I felt compelled to address the terrorist attacks in Boston that day. To start the show without talking about that tragedy felt wrong. Since I was recording, I’ve released my remarks as a special podcast episode.

It’s available in Stitcher, iTunes, RSS, and direct download.

My statements, as prepared (I deviated a bit in the recording), appear below:

There’s something I need to address. As you hear this, this happened more than a week ago, but just a few hours ago, there were two explosions at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. We don’t really know anything right now. Two people are dead and there are reports of over a hundred wounded.

This is awful and has made me sick to my stomach. My heart goes out to everyone affected by these apparently deliberate attacks. I have family in Boston and I got in touch with them and they’re ok—but there are a lot of people who aren’t.

These was a moment this afternoon when I considered cancelling tonight’s show. Something about my taking such a cavalier attitude to a text so many people consider sacred in the wake of such a tragedy seemed a bit insensitive.

But then I realized that’s exactly why I should perform tonight.

This book is at the center of millions of peoples’ ideologies.  For a lot of the world, morality is driven by the book I’m going to make fun of tonight. And sometimes, some people (a very small minority, but some) stand so firm in their ideologies, whether they come from this book or not, that they reject all other points of view. And they kill.

You’ll see seemingly righteous killing in this month’s chapter. And a lot of people base certain moral judgements on what we’re about to read. Part of the reason this show must go on is to point out the ambiguity that exists even within this ideology—that those who stake a claim to absolute truth and morality might just be mistaken. And if they are, they probably shouldn’t condemn anyone. Or kill them.

The other reason, and this is more of a traditional reading than I usually do in this show, is because of the conversation Avraham has with God. As you’ll see, Avraham convinces Yehovah to spare the cities of S’dom and G’mora if He can find 10 innocent men within.

Presumably God, if you believe in Him, knows what lies in the hearts of men. He is the only entity that can know whether a soul is truly innocent. And he relents for the sake of 10 innocents. How can anyone, especially one who professes a belief in an Almighty, possibly claim to know what lies in the hearts of others and condemn countless times more than 10 innocents to death—when even God wouldn’t do such a thing?